On the news, (If I were to watch it), all you would hear, is crybaby after crybaby complaining about, “I can’t because of…”, or “I would if….”, or my favorite, which is, “They made me Feel…..”.
If you really listen to the words that people say in general conversation, Especially their “Adjectives” that they use, It will be crystal clear, why so many people experience bad moods and worries.
A worry is nothing more than, “Not Being Prepared or Knowledgeable”, about a future perceived problem! And a Bad mood, is the subconscious focus on Either a negative outlook to the future, or relishing in some negative past!
I periodically condition my kids to Not get caught up in “Victim Mentality”, where it is believed that the “Outside World” has an effect on their state of mind. It never will, Nor ever can, unless you allow it. How do you reverse the Victim mentality wiring in a person who is surrounded by it?
What I’m going to say, may not set right, at first, but that’s because, it goes against standard society programming. I strongly suggest that no one try this with their kids, because it “Will” backfire, if the proper mental conditioning is not put in place over many months of building up to this!!!
I have 2 boys, 11 & 13, and one day they were across the street jumping on the a trampoline with other kids. Thomas (11) and Steven (13) came in the front door and Thomas was crying. I said,”what happened?”, Thomas told me that steven kept calling him dumb, and other such things. So I turned to steven and held up my hand to give him a high five for making thomas cry! Now Why in the world would I do this!, that sounds crazy!
Prior to this, I was doing periodic “Anti Victim” programming on the kids, by deliberately, trying to make them mad or hurt thier feelings “With my WORDS”. But it’s important to note that Prior, we have had many many lessons on, how we subconsciously allow others “Words” to effect our feelings.
After a quick reminder, to the kids, that it’s impossible for someone to EVER “Make You Feel” like…. I would wait a half hour or so, and just walk up and start yelling, about something they didn’t do, and try try to get them mad, and as soon as I did, I would laugh and say- “Gotcha!” You could almost see the rewiring going on! They knew that they were pranked, so they Had to let go of the anger, and the more times they are pranked, the more “Desensitized” they became to “Energy Vampires” or the more known “Drama Kings & Queens” Manipulation of Energy!!!
So when Thomas comes in the front door crying, I know that he is craving me to “Punish” something in the outside world, to make him Feel better. But if I do that, then I am teaching him that the source of his pain, is “Outside of Him” & not within his control ! And That, would be a bold faced Lie!
After I high five Steven, I make sure that I explain, “in that moment”, WHY I am choosing to do this. And I say, “Thomas, if you allow others words to effect you in any way, then as you grow up, you will be running from any and every negative person that wants to dump their pain into your vessel.
Quickly after, I make sure to talk to steven about the effects of his words on people who dont know these practices and so on.
In ancient religions, they say that god is conceptually male and female. I believe that “situations” are like this also, depending on what perspective. Thomas was right for being upset, but also wrong for being upset, depending on the veiw as victim, or as a Victor!
I hope you can see the Liberating benefits of knowing that, if someone else, is able to make you “Feel” bad, it is a Gift in disguise, to show where our insecurities lay. Because, unless we can identify them, there is No chance of rewiring them!
Spread the word, Play games and have fun! That’s all life is anyway, a Realistic Play, in which You are the Star!!!
Thank You, John Hilderbrandt